i like talking to cute guys but...

Well i added him on Facebook. Didn't want to for a while but hey i partied with him a couple of times and had some deep convos here and there haha. posted "heyyy what's up :)" w/ a reply "hey long time no see. How is everything?! I've been working"


i couldn't be anymore awkward always hanging onto every word a guy i think is cute would say to me. Same w/ looks. Even if it's something so irrelevant or simple. I kinda flirted w/ this guy but it was nothing to him probably and yet i hang on to it. I felt a little connection tho but he's kinda a guy w/out any real goals in life. But what if just what if. Shit. My standards are too high sometimes...ok most. Ugh I'll be single forever.

If you're a normal stranger who happens to talk to me, then you just became my friend. That's how i roll ;D

I'd do him

He just suggested 2 songs for me to check out after having to update my fb status about suggestions for new music. my heart fluttered as i read the comment he had left me. I know it's not a big deal really. Just a friend suggesting music. Listened to banana pancakes by jack Johnson...a very romantic song. Checked out the lyrics for seaside by the kooks. A bit romantic too. But man he's so damn good looking i just can't help myself in thinking "what if i truly ever do like this guy?" always thought he was so damn hot from the 8th grade till now. Just never really thought and emphasized it till now. He's tall, blonde, blue eyed, and is going to school in the US Army. Now tell me, doesn't that sound like yum ;D

The Reader

Just finished watching the movie "The Reader" w/ my bro Michael. It was very interesting & we both enjoyed it. Minus the sex/naked scenes but overall, a very touching story. Makes me think about the critical thinking English class i last took. Trying to find out the true meaning of the story.

Blogging on the go!

Setted up this blog to my phone so now i can update via cellular device...but only through SMS so 160 character limit...lets see how this goes...

And it leads me back here

I really do miss blogging sometimes...why don't I do it often? There's always much going on in my mind. While looking up the words "inspiration" & "aspiration" for their meanings, I stumbled onto this blog that talked about those two words. And of course, it made me trace the steps to here. So inspiration v.s. aspiration...I've always heard of inspiration (which I've applied that meaning to a certain hero of mine) but never aspiration. According to Wikipedia, aspiration can mean "hope" and "ambition"...doesn't that apply to inspiration as well? If I were to use aspiration, I'd use the hope meaning of it. I am ambitious but sometimes being that is so overrated and annoying....

This excerpt from the blog helps explain what I mean:

"We live in an “aspirational” society. Aspiration and ambition could be good things but often drive people crazy. Aspiration refers to material things you can possess. Inspiration refers to immaterial things you wish to be. When you choose “have” versus “be”, you set yourself up for disappointment and frustration. No matter how nicer car or bigger house you will buy, there will always be some better ones you could have and don’t. It’s the famous “greener lawn” stereotype and, as with many stereotypes, there is some truth to it."

That's how I feel about life in general. We have to chase after the things in life that makes us as individuals happy, not just things that show other people we're happy. Sometimes both intermingle within each other and it works out, but if not, what is the point of being able to have those materialistic things when the inside of an individual is not so pleasant as it seems on the outside?

Overall, I am just grateful that I am always looking at things from the outside perspective of it and not the inside.

OK, now I know why I don't blog as much...it takes forever to spill out serious deep thoughts ha ha.

My rediscovery...

So I have yet stumbled my way to this place. I think I should use it more often. Maybe I could get some stuff off my mind here and then get a good night's sleep...
The times they are changing...wait, isn't that a song? I think so but I can't think of the artist right now. As I was saying, times they are changing. It's already November. Oh time, please go alittle slower. My 20th birthday is near...too near and so not ready. Things are changing, but they are for the better. Nothing I've done so far is regrettable. Sadly, I think some people would want me to think that way, but they haven't broken through the wall that I've built up to replace the once fallen one. Hopefully, this wall stays up long enough until my next battle, which I know I will get through. I've learned that life is truely how I want it to be and it's the greatest feeling ever to know that :)

Flying solo

So I'm still buzzed from this show! the m&g was interesting. i was sad that my other jm buddies didn't get in tho :( it was kinda weird how we lined up like that when we were waiting for Andrew. i got to talk to him and tell him thanks for being an inspiration in my life and blah blah blah. HAHA the brick camera Steph made me use when i was like "no it looks too complicated!" and then Andrew says how its not and blah blah blah. then I pushed the off button lol. I still can't stop laughing at the whole drunk guy/beer thing! He was right next to us! and people kept looking at our side :p

 I really loved how Andrew told

a story before he played a song, especially the one about how one day he was sitting like he was a woman or something and his brother made fun of him so he wrote 21 & invincible...i think that was the song but the cutest story was the one about the song "walking by" and how he wrote it to impress his wife back in the day. oh and the one about some chick that he met at a bar one night after a show or something, telling him that "moon river" was "way out of his league" and everyone in the crowd booed and Andrew says something like "yea, that's what i thought!" I'm glad he played it tho. 

I loved all the cover songs!!! the "just like a woman" cover is amazing! i never heard of Bob Dylan's music before but i think Andrew did amazing on that song! i don't remember really but if anyone knows, was the extended intro to dark blue played? i think it was but i can't remember. i can't believe he played Katie(is it there there Katie now?)! it was soooo good. i didn't think he would come out since so many people were yelling "KONSTANTINE!!!" when most of us were yelling encore/Andrew. but the encore was amazing :) everything was!the Konstantine people didn't bother me too much but it was just funny to me to finally experience it in person :p